Pizza At The Pool

Everyone has a comfort zone. We all have our inhibitions, some more than others, and I have come to realize that this line, this limit, can be breached not only by substance consumption, but also by observers. Similar to that physics thing, that yields different results depending on who watches the experiment. I can't remember what that experiment is called, oh well. Anyway, there is a whole genre of adult entertainment based on this, but I am speaking of nothing that extreme.

I found myself standing pool side in an apartment community I visit often. Not a social visit, but a business occasion. I held proud a hot bag full of pizzas, four twelve inch medium one toppers, steaming and smelling quite delicious. It can be rather difficult, especially when hungry, to drive around all day delivering pizza while having to smell these delectable edibles. In this instance I was happy to be standing around outdoors, delivering to customers enjoying themselves at a pool, at night with a gentle breeze carrying away the sweet smell of that tasty pie.

Normally we pizza guys prefer our customers to be hasty in handing over pie payment, so we can be on our way, tips in hand, towards our next location to receive more tips. Time equals money. It can irk us to no end having to wait around, wasting time and money, for customers who aren't prepared to hand over the funds. Though, when in the company of half a dozen mostly naked, pool water dripping, smoking hot, toasty babes, we can overlook this minor inconvenience. It is moments like this I am embarrassed to be in uniform, and balding.

Being ill-prepared for the transaction, one of these luscious ladies, the one in charge of giving me the dough, had to saunter back to her apartment, leaving wet footprints in the stones like a bread crumb trail. I was left waiting. The other girls on the other hand, whose skin glowed green from the underwater pool lights refracting through the water, sending sparkles of luminescence glittering through the air like a glimpse into a fairy tale, decided to engage me in conversation.

This usually leads to trouble.

You see, I am a bit of a novelty, a toy to be examined and squeezed it seems, yet, I don't let forth any annoying high pitched squeal. The shrill sounds that come from a doggy toy are responses that you expect. When I am asked the most general of questions, or squeezed, in your average social herd gatherings, I have a tendency to emit something altogether, puzzling. This is most often followed by even more equally puzzled questions and a tiresome dialogue ensues. To avoid this I commit what most consider a sin: I lie.

One man's sin is another man's convenience.

They offered me a beer and an illegal substance to smoke while I waited for the cash. If I were to tell them the truth, that I don't partake of any such endeavors, it would make the situation uncomfortable, for them, and they would react as most herd animals do, when confronted with a possible threat, and fall over belly up, become fearful and paranoid, or ask me why I don't indulge. I get tired of having to answer for myself, so I lie.

"No thanks, I am on the clock right now."

With a chuckle and a snort, they proceeded to pressure me, which is what always happens, and I refused once again.

"Man, my boss is in the store tonight. I can't."

They seemed disappointed yet eager to try a new approach. So they did next, what all well mannered ladies do, and proceeded to lift their bikini tops. As they explained, they didn't want me to leave without something to make up for me having to wait.

Really, a tip would have been fine.

Now, the chances of me losing my job over this, or a lawsuit coming forth are slim to none, but I have to play by the corporate rules and be a good soldier. So I did what all guys would do in my situation, when face to boob with ladies that are by far out of our league. I turned, looked away, and implored them to keep their tops on. As I explained, business was slow and it was no trouble having to wait for the funds. Another lie, over a bitten bottom lip.

Sure, they had some drinks in them, but what bakes my noodle most is why on earth they would expose themselves to a total stranger like that? I could be the next BTK for all they knew. Of course, I am not, but do they walk around topless while shopping for groceries too? Probably not. So, as you can see, some people are more open to others than they would be with people they already know, or something. They knew I would be leaving soon, and so took it upon themselves to express some primal instinct or notion that I truly do not understand.

This may be some mating ritual, akin to the full bloom of a peacock's feathers, but I don't have much of a clue as to how to react. Wasn't I supposed to dance too? Only if the music plays. In this case it wasn't, though, those feathers were painfully resplendent. Anyway, I don't care for dancing. It could have been just a playful game.

I just find the willingness funny, that's all.

Love,
Smiley