"You are looking good tonight. Good and tasty! Woka-woka-woka."
If I had a vote I would opt for a Zombie Apocalypse. Think about it, man! We get to do what we have always wanted to do: kill, eat, and fit in with the majority. Zombies are indiscriminate towards life and each other. They kill and eat anything and anyone not a zombie; all ethnicities and religions are fair game and tasty. It is ironic how zombies crave the one thing there is very little of on this planet: brains. I digress...
In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse there would inevitably be survivors trying to seek a safe haven from the rabid hordes of brain eaters. Until you are bitten, infected, and transformed into the undead, you can count yourself as a survivor. Surely you would want to stay non-zombie as long as possible, but face it, sooner or later you are dead meat. Unless shoe leather is your only method of escape, you are going to need tools to get you from the hellish yet appetizing smorgasbord that is your neighborhood.
What weapons and supplies would you take with you during your urban flight? Assuming zombies die like they do in the movies there are a plethora of weapons to get you through a few waves of undead. To wit:
Guns. Guns are good and powerful. They can dispatch a foe from afar, they can obliterate at close range, and they intimidate any non-infected humans who are looking for an easy "grape" minus the "g." On the other hand, they require ammo, which in turn is heavy and takes space in your survival backpack. You only have so many bullets until you have to throw your gun at your foe. "You talking to me?"
In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse there would inevitably be survivors trying to seek a safe haven from the rabid hordes of brain eaters. Until you are bitten, infected, and transformed into the undead, you can count yourself as a survivor. Surely you would want to stay non-zombie as long as possible, but face it, sooner or later you are dead meat. Unless shoe leather is your only method of escape, you are going to need tools to get you from the hellish yet appetizing smorgasbord that is your neighborhood.
What weapons and supplies would you take with you during your urban flight? Assuming zombies die like they do in the movies there are a plethora of weapons to get you through a few waves of undead. To wit:
Guns. Guns are good and powerful. They can dispatch a foe from afar, they can obliterate at close range, and they intimidate any non-infected humans who are looking for an easy "grape" minus the "g." On the other hand, they require ammo, which in turn is heavy and takes space in your survival backpack. You only have so many bullets until you have to throw your gun at your foe. "You talking to me?"
Real guns are ideal.
Blades. Blades are neat and near-infinite. With a sword you can slash, impale, and de-head for as long as you have breath in your lungs. With a knife you can pierce skulls and commit wicked sneak attacks. They are light weight, easily concealable, and can open CD and DVD cases when not being used as a zombie-dicer. Trouble is, unless you throw your blade you can only slay the infected at close range. That and you only can kill one, or maybe two if you are good, foes at a time. If you are surrounded then you may as well commit one last thrust to seppuku.
Flamethrowers are cool, but you aren't going to find them at Wal-Mart. Unless you are a terrorist you probably won't find RPG launchers either.
I would go with an armament of two guns, one knife, one sword.
Non-weapon supplies? Food is good. Water is even more good. You can find candy bars and fruitcake everywhere, but it will be water that vanishes faster than positive presidential approval ratings. You can't drink from gutters or urinals, that stuff will kill you, as will liquids from car radiators. Gallon jugs are heavy and unwieldy. 20oz bottles are good but don't last too long. If the zombies don't get you, expect thirst to end your life in only a few days, maybe a week at most.
Remember, non-infected mammals are a threat as well. Humans are evil, manipulative, and opportunistic, heck we wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for our rampant fornicating and enslavement. Don't forget packs of feral dogs, rabid kittens, and streets full of hamsters in plastic rolling balls. In the early hours of a Zombie Apocalypse chaos, confusion, misinformation, and hysteria will be the death of many long before an infected bite.
Let us assume then that wherever you are going isn't too far away. If your destination is more than a week away, screw it. Truth be told, stealth is your best weapon, if the zombies don't know you are there, they wont come after you. So, don't let them see you.
Here is what I am thinking:
Primary Weapon: Hunting Rifle. Pick off your obstacles from afar. Waste no more than one shot per zombie. Stay moving, quietly, to avoid any incoming zombies that may have heard the report. 50 bullets.
Secondary Weapon: Handgun. Surely, you will find yourself face to face with a nasty brain muncher at some point. I suggest stopping power. Desert Eagle would be nice, though, hard to find. Maybe a 357. Once they are within pistol range make sure they don't stay mobile for long. Finish the job and get moving. Now. 4 spare clips, or 100 bullets.
Sword: Ninja-to. It is small, usually no longer than 22' inches and sharp enough to pierce even the dry leather of Keith Richards' gnarly facial skin. Use it to stab and aim for the neck or mouth. Be quick, silent, and approach stealthily from behind. This is a handy tool when other zombies are near and you don't want them to know you are there.
Knife: Commando Knife. These things are sweet. You can get them at any army-navy store, I have one. They come with a crappy compass, wire for fishing, matches, and a butt wipe to keep the poo itch away for at least a few hours. Essentially they are several handy tools in one. May as well consolidate while you still can. It is the ultimate last ditch weapon. Other than a back-pack nuke.
Other. Snicker's Marathon bars are good and surprisingly filling. Fruit cups don't have to be kept cold. Two or three 20oz bottles of water are light-weight, refillable, and can help you last up to a week fresh. You aren't going too far, so ration your goods. Matches if it is cold. Wear heavy to medium thick clothing to help shield you from bites and weather. Forget about make-up, razors, or deodorant. Take tampons. Zombies can smell blood and you don't want to leave a "trail."
Also, if you have trouble coming to grips with shooting/chopping people just try to remember that they are already dead. You aren't killing them, you are "resting" them. If that doesn't help then try to imagine that all zombies are Bin Laden, Hitler, or Paris Hilton.
Flamethrowers are cool, but you aren't going to find them at Wal-Mart. Unless you are a terrorist you probably won't find RPG launchers either.
I would go with an armament of two guns, one knife, one sword.
Non-weapon supplies? Food is good. Water is even more good. You can find candy bars and fruitcake everywhere, but it will be water that vanishes faster than positive presidential approval ratings. You can't drink from gutters or urinals, that stuff will kill you, as will liquids from car radiators. Gallon jugs are heavy and unwieldy. 20oz bottles are good but don't last too long. If the zombies don't get you, expect thirst to end your life in only a few days, maybe a week at most.
Remember, non-infected mammals are a threat as well. Humans are evil, manipulative, and opportunistic, heck we wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for our rampant fornicating and enslavement. Don't forget packs of feral dogs, rabid kittens, and streets full of hamsters in plastic rolling balls. In the early hours of a Zombie Apocalypse chaos, confusion, misinformation, and hysteria will be the death of many long before an infected bite.
Let us assume then that wherever you are going isn't too far away. If your destination is more than a week away, screw it. Truth be told, stealth is your best weapon, if the zombies don't know you are there, they wont come after you. So, don't let them see you.
Here is what I am thinking:
Primary Weapon: Hunting Rifle. Pick off your obstacles from afar. Waste no more than one shot per zombie. Stay moving, quietly, to avoid any incoming zombies that may have heard the report. 50 bullets.
Secondary Weapon: Handgun. Surely, you will find yourself face to face with a nasty brain muncher at some point. I suggest stopping power. Desert Eagle would be nice, though, hard to find. Maybe a 357. Once they are within pistol range make sure they don't stay mobile for long. Finish the job and get moving. Now. 4 spare clips, or 100 bullets.
Sword: Ninja-to. It is small, usually no longer than 22' inches and sharp enough to pierce even the dry leather of Keith Richards' gnarly facial skin. Use it to stab and aim for the neck or mouth. Be quick, silent, and approach stealthily from behind. This is a handy tool when other zombies are near and you don't want them to know you are there.
Knife: Commando Knife. These things are sweet. You can get them at any army-navy store, I have one. They come with a crappy compass, wire for fishing, matches, and a butt wipe to keep the poo itch away for at least a few hours. Essentially they are several handy tools in one. May as well consolidate while you still can. It is the ultimate last ditch weapon. Other than a back-pack nuke.
Other. Snicker's Marathon bars are good and surprisingly filling. Fruit cups don't have to be kept cold. Two or three 20oz bottles of water are light-weight, refillable, and can help you last up to a week fresh. You aren't going too far, so ration your goods. Matches if it is cold. Wear heavy to medium thick clothing to help shield you from bites and weather. Forget about make-up, razors, or deodorant. Take tampons. Zombies can smell blood and you don't want to leave a "trail."
Also, if you have trouble coming to grips with shooting/chopping people just try to remember that they are already dead. You aren't killing them, you are "resting" them. If that doesn't help then try to imagine that all zombies are Bin Laden, Hitler, or Paris Hilton.
Paris Bin Hitler.
Hopefully you will make it out alive. There must be at least one survivor so that someone can witness our sun boil us to death.
Love,
Smiley Grimm
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